


Autocorrect Accidents Ending Okayish

by c0cunt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, No Smut, Oviposition, kink discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6332152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Autocorrect fucking sucks.  Especially when it takes something innocent and makes it into something sexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Autocorrect Accidents Ending Okayish

**Author's Note:**

> Before you judge me, JSUT FUCKIN LISTEN OKAY?  
> I was sending snaps to my very lovely friend [Dai](http://daismonius.tumblr.com/), and...Autocorrect tried to make my "ooooo" into "ovipositor". So, like any inspired idiot, I wrote this. So like...Yeah

  Jean was having a rotten day so far.  His boss had called him in on his day off, his boyfriends were relaxing at home without him (actually, didn’t Eren say he was helping Mikasa and Annie move today? Eh, something like that), and he hadn’t been able to take his break at all.  So, between folding shirts and reshelving returned items from the dressing room, he was being a sneaky sneaker and checking their group chat on his phone, where Eren and Marco had descended into sending memes back and forth.  It was better than helping snot-nosed customers all day, at least.

  “Jean, can you go open a register up?  Boris and Marlowe are swamped,” Hitch asked apologetically as she hurried past him, looking more than a little green around the gills as she shoved her way into the bathroom.  Jean frowned widely, but headed towards the front of the store slowly in compliance with Hitch’s wishes:  He wasn’t about to cross a pregnant and very moody manager on the best of days, and certainly not today when she seemed to be hit extra hard with stomach issues.  Before he was halfway across the store, feet dragging, he decided to check his phone and grinned.

  Marco had sent a few photos of what he was planning on making for dinner, ingredients strewn about on the counter.  A carton of eggs, a bunch of different vegetables (including green peppers, Jean saw with delight), cheeses and a container of honey glazed ham slices were all sitting pretty in the first photo.  The second photo was of some sort of pie in their oven, and Marco explained after the photos that he was making omelets for dinner and there would be apple pie afterwards.  Two of Jean’s most absolute favorite foods.  He couldn’t help a quiet hum of delight as he quickly sent off an “oooooo!”, before bracing himself for work, his phone shoved quickly away into his back pocket.

 

* * *

 

  It had been absolute hell.  At least a dozen of the people who were ready to check out had gotten into arguments with him over expired coupons, or how they just wanted to exchange something lickety split (go to the damn customer service counter then!).  And at least one little kid had taken the liberty of rifling through the drawers of the unoccupied fourth register, and only when Hitch came over to sort things out did anything run mildly smoothly.  Jean was achey, tired, and just wanted to go home at this point, hoping that Marco would wait until he texted that he was on the way home until he started dinner...With that thought in mind, he clocked out slowly and shoved his name tag into his pocket, patting the others for his keys, wallet, and phone.  Marlowe stopped him on the way out, to thank him for calling Hitch over when several customers had started getting near riotous with him over not being able to take expired coupons, but soon enough Jean was seated in his old rustbucket of a car.  With a sigh, he wiggled his phone out of his pocket, eyebrows raised in surprised to see so many unread messages from the chat with his boyfriends.  The most recent message was from Marco, stating “Jean, please don’t be anxious to talk to us about new things you’d like to try in the bedroom, we love you and respect you. if you wanna try it, we can do some research into it and go for it”.  Okay, that kind of made him anxious as hell to see just what the fuck had happened.  He scrolled back up to where Marco’s photos of their meal were, and proceeded to read, absolutely flabbergasted.

  


**_Marco Bodt_ **

Omelets and apple pie for dinner tonight~

 

**_Jean KirschFINE_ **

ovipositor!

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

?????????????????????????????????????????

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

well thats one way to come out about your kinks

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

Jean??????

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

r u into that Jean?

‘cause if so u couldve told us after dinner or something instead of over skype

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

I’m more surprised that Jean said it after me saying what’s for dinner than anything else tbh

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

wht sort of porn hav u been lookin @ Jean

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

I think I have seen something with tentacles in Jean’s search history before…

I mean, we do roleplay sometimes, so if he wants we could start with that and tentacles, then work our way up?

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

hav u jacked off thinking about us using an ovipositor on u  

or u using it on us

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

Jean it’s okay if you like that sort of thing, you can be open with us about your kinks

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

yea like theres a lot of weirder things u could be into ur kinks are safe with us

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

we don’t kinkshame

if anything we kinksame

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

yea its kinda easier 2 tease than 2 b srs on something like this y’know? but if it’s something u’d like to try…

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

we’d totally try it with you!

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

if tht’s what u want

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

all you had to do was ask ^-^

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

yea totally up for it

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

Eren you sound nowhere near excited enough for exploring Jean’s kinks with him

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

srry mika’s been making me move all the boxes 4 her

cut a dude some slack

but if we do explore his kinks, i think Reiner could point us in the right direction as far as toys

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

we could ask Bertl, he’s mentioned it before to me

I think I have a discount at his store we could use too

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

nice

Jean’s been v quiet

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

yeah he has...I hope he didn’t do the “hide for three hours after saying something risky” thing he tends to do

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

like he did when he asked me out

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

yeah he does that whenever he says something risky

 

**_Eren Gayger_ **

dumbass

he should kno by now we won’t judge him we love him

 

**_Marco Bodt_ **

Jean, please don’t be anxious to talk to us about new things you’d like to try in the bedroom, we love you and respect you. if you wanna try it, we can do some research into it and go for it

  
  
  


  Jean’s face was tomato red by the time he’d caught up on their conversation.  Why the fuck had his phone changed his simple “ooooooo” to “ovipositor”?  Was his life a fuckin’ joke?  Probably, but that’s besides the point.  The point was, Jean was now...Kind of seriously thinking seriously about it.  Like, yeah, he’d gotten off to tentacle stuff before (but then again, who hadn’t?  It was like a right of passage), but wasn’t...Oviposition a bit much?  It was called oviposition, right?  Hell, Jean didn’t know, but it sounded like Eren and Marco knew a bit too much about Reiner’s and Bertholdt’s sex lives.  Maybe he should...Do some research on oviposition?  Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.  With a determined nod, Jean quickly opened up an internet tab on his phone, and settled in for a bit of googling.

 

* * *

 

  It was a good half hour from that point before Jean was able to drive home after a bit of research.  Of course that bit of research had turned to into porn watching...It couldn’t really be helped.  Jean had more dignity than beating it off in his car at his job’s parking lot at the very least.  He definitely had some things he wanted to talk to Marco and Eren about now, though.  Especially if they were as willing as they sounded to explore some...Interesting ideas he’d had.  Jean quickly sent a last message over their Skype chat saying “omw home now. looking forward to having this chat w/ u two<3”, before he started his car.  Things were definitely shaping their evening into being an interesting one, if nothing else.


End file.
